“Gabriela… why does being an expat feel ten times heavier during the holidays?”
The room went quiet.
Because everyone knew exactly what she meant.
The unanswered FaceTime calls.
The aging parents you wish you could hug instead of monitor through WhatsApp.
The birthday you missed again because flights were impossible or your boss dropped a last-minute “quick request.”
The feeling of being both grateful for your international life… and exhausted by everything it takes from you.
I see this every year in my sessions. The holiday season amplifies every emotion you’ve managed to keep under control the rest of the year.
I have good news: ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) gives us tools that actually work when distance, guilt, and nostalgia start hitting like a badly timed Christmas commercial.
Below are five practical, honest, and expat-tested tips to move through this season without losing your mind (or your sense of humor).
1. Name the feeling before it hijacks your month
Loneliness, guilt, overwhelm, FOMO… these emotions are not the enemy.
The enemy is pretending they’re not there.
In ACT, the first move is to acknowledge the emotion without wrestling it.
Try:
“Oh, this tightness in my chest is homesickness.”
“This lump in my throat is guilt.”
Naming makes space. Space makes choice possible.
Choice makes December actually manageable.
2. Build “micro-rituals” that anchor you
When distance grows, rituals shrink it.
A voice note to your mum every morning.
Lighting a candle your grandma would approve of.
Watching that silly movie your brother quotes every year.
Micro-rituals don’t replace home, but they reconnect you to it without derailing your week.
3. Choose connection, not comparison
Scrolling through photos of your friends having dinner with their families will not magically teleport you home.
(It will, however, make the Glühwein taste like regret.)
Instead of comparing your holiday to other people’s, ACT suggests choosing actions that align with your values.
Value: family
Action: call them, send a postcard, record a message, plan a visit.
Value: connection
Action: host a tiny dinner, join a local activity, or reach out to other lonely expats (trust me, there are plenty).
Values > comparison. Always.
4. Let go of the fantasy version of yourself
You know the fantasy I mean:
The version of you who attends every Zoom call home, manages a perfect work schedule, cooks from scratch, sends thoughtful gifts on time, and never cries into a supermarket panettone.
That person does not exist.
ACT teaches us to let go of unhelpful stories so we can act from reality, not perfection.
Make space for the human version of you: tired, loving, stretched thin, doing their best on the opposite side of the planet.
5. Plan for one thing that brings you genuine joy
Joy doesn’t have to be big.
It just has to be yours.
A museum trip.
A long walk in your new city.
A chocolate fondue for one.
A night out dancing with people who barely speak your language.
Let December be more than longing.
Let it be both things: longing and living.
Why guidance matters especially now
Expat holidays are a psychological marathon and doing it alone makes everything heavier.
In my sessions and talks, December is the month where emotions become louder, patterns become clearer, and the work that changes how you feel abroad becomes possible.
If this season is stirring things up and you want grounded, science-backed support that fits your fast-paced global life, you can work with me from anywhere in the world.
Online counseling . Yes, the real kind. Not the “just breathe and be grateful” kind.
Gabriela
Psychologist. Speaker. Expat.
I help high-achieving professionals untangle the emotional chaos of global work so they can lead with clarity, confidence, and connection.
If you are an expat who wants to live a joyful, successful and fulfilled international life, Gabriela is the Licensed Psychologist, Keynote Speaker and Mentor you need.
She helps you reclaim your self-confidence back and design your expat life in your own terms. Gabriela has more than 20 years of professional experience, speaks 3 languages (sometimes in one sentence, like you!) and has supported more than 500 expats overcome anxiety and burnout, build meaningful relationships and enjoy their international lives, wherever they are, wherever they are heading.
Gabriela supports expats in Spanish, English and German and also offers workshops and talks for companies.
